June 17, BLOWN, 5/6
The Wordle Postgame Report is a brief analysis of a past game of Wordle, the five-letter-word guessing game now owned by the New York Times. If you do not play Wordle, Indignity encourages you to please skip this item. The existence of the Wordle Postgame Report does not constitute an endorsement of playing Wordle, of not playing Wordle, or of the New York Times.
A WASTED OPPORTUNITY, one might say. Squandered. Misspent. I started with POISE, hit on yellow with the O, then tried ALONG. Two green, on the L and O, and a yellow N—three green, effectively, since nothing starts with N L O. It had to be _ L O _ N. Two moves, and a huge amount of progress already.
CLOWN. Great word. How fun would that be to win on? Were there other words that could fit? Why even think about it? CLOWN.
The C came up gray, and everything else came up green. Goddammit. I'd turned it into a game of Absurdle, the evil Wordle variant with unlimited turns, where the program keeps changing the word until you eliminate every other possibility. Misplay your hand in Absurdle and you're stuck there typing FOLLY, HOLLY, DOLLY, JOLLY, GOLLY as long as the alphabet holds out. Do the same thing in Wordle, and you can build a chute that carries you right off the end of the bottom row.
Not quite here, though. FLOWN? Nope. What was left? BLOWN. The worst kind of victory.
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