COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: My Editor Spent Four Minutes Thinking Up This Headline
GENTLE READERS OF the Mr. Wrong column, I gotta be honest with you and do a Full Disclosure on today’s column. I forgot to write one. I told the Editor of Indignity that I would file a steaming-fresh pile of Mr. Wrong today, by 5:30 p.m., Eastern Standard Time, (unless it’s Daylight Savings, I can never remember, which is why it should be abolished, or maybe why it should be always, I can never goddamn remember after I get settled in to the new Time Zone, but anyway, I said when I would file the column and then I went and looked at a bunch of Employment Opportunities, because I am looking for Employment, of the Full-Time duration, and I got all sucked into filling out some stuff online, and then I remembered about my column, so look, I am typing today’s column right now, in Real Time, whatever the fuck that means, seriously, is there False Time? Is it the opposite of Elapsed Time? Do people mean to say that something is actually happening, in Time, or is this some sorta meta-fuckball-physical comment about how Time is illusory? There’s Time, you know, it keeps on slippin’ into The Future. Try and stop it. I’ll wait.
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