INDIGNITY VOL. 3, NO. 41: [HEART] ATTACK
MUNICIPAL BRANDING DEP'T.
YESTERDAY, THE PARTNERSHIP for New York City unveiled its new promotional logo for the city. It did not go well. In the name of raising the spirits of a pandemic-worn metropolis, the civic boosters brought forth a clumsy, fussy copy of Milton Glaser’s immortal “I [HEART] NY” logo from 1977—the “I” changed to the try-hard plural, the “NY” overspecified to “NYC” (as if anyone cared, or remembered, that “I [HEART] NY” included upstate, the clean graphic heart turned into a 3D-shaded emoji, and the whole thing so misaligned it read more like “WE NYC [HEART].”
Feh! Just look at the thing:
This is no way for a self-respecting metropolis to present itself. Indignity’s creative director says “Whaddya mean WE? Who’s WE? NYC should be a COMMAND, not a statement. It’s ‘New York effin’ City!’ The [HEART] is fine, if you lose the shading, but this is the type treatment you see on stuff that matters, like the restaurant grades!”
Indignity’s editor piled on with more emoji-based treatments for the 21st century city:
New York City, March 20, 2023
★★★★ The buds of the honeylocust swelled black against the brightening blue sky. The last morning of winter was still cold, for a while. Someone had pulled the floor mats out of their SUV and laid them by the curb, running an extension cord from the building lobby to the street to vacuum the interior. In the noon hour, the warm sun and chilly air made it hard to decide what temperature it was; by 2 it was time to leave the parka behind. Pools of light reflecting off high windows lined the sidewalk. Down in the subway the chill lingered, but the stair treads back up and out were dazzling. At the moment spring arrived, after an early dinner, at least three blue jays were screaming, their cries overlapping one another. From sunrise to sunset, the day passed with even a glimpse of a single cloud in the sky.
EASY LISTENING DEP’T.
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WAR BREAD DEP’T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of select sandwiches from Conservation Recipes, compiled by the Mobilized Women’s Organizations of Berkeley, Berkeley Unit, Council of Defense Woman’s Committee, Berkeley, CA, published in 1918, found in the public domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Mrs. R. H. Wetmore, Editor.
THE FOLLOWING RECIPES have been somewhat changed from their original form, to comply with the latest rulings of the Food Administration. During the wheat shortage it is not desirable to encourage the making of sandwiches at all. To meet certain imperative needs such as school lunches, use the fillings suggested below on non-wheat breads, crackers, wafers, muffins, and biscuits.
When the restriction on wheat is lifted it will be a simple matter to reinstate bread in all the lists of ingredients.
Tuna, sardines, or any left over fish may be mixed with mayonnaise and spread on buttered bread.
—Mrs. W. H. Cameron.
BAKED BEAN FILLING
Cold baked beans.
Chili sauce or plain mustard.
Mix beans with sauce or mustard and put between slices of any kind of bread.
—Mrs. H. H. Meyers.
Queen olives, chopped fine.
Cheese, finely grated.
Mix olives thoroughly with French dressing and spread on unbuttered wheatless bread. Sprinkle cheese on top.
—Mrs. W. E. Leland.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by these offerings, kindly send a picture to us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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