Grime and punishment

INDIGNITY VOL. 3, NO. 141

COLUMN DEP’T.

If I had a Day Job, this Official Document would have excused me from being fired and allowed me to scoop up an extra $30 per diem.

MR WRONG: I, the Dutiful Juror

THE OTHER DAY, to be a good citizen, I served on Jury Duty, at the request/command of The State, in a courtroom in the City of Baltimore, Maryland, America, U.S.A. To protect the rights and privacy of my fellow Jurors, and any alleged lawyers and criminals and stuff, I am not gonna get into the details of the case, per se, which I believe is a legal term, meaning a thing, I think, allegedly and purportedly.

This is the bottom of a statve ovtside the covrthovse.

In Baltimore you get 30 bucks cash just for showing up to sit in a room where maybe you will have to go into another room and become a Jury. So for the first hour I was feeling pretty good, I had some stash in my slide and I was already thinking about where I could get a nice lunchie. 

Then we sat around some more, and my hourly wage started to erode. I didn’t pick the “quiet room” to sit in, so I had to listen to the movie they were playing, which I think was Annie, which has the song “It’s a Hard Knock Life,” which is a fucking earworm, jeez, I had that on a groove in my head for the rest of the day, and it made my music brain skip over to the sample in the Jay-Z song, and I’m not a fan of the original and I hate that goddamn chipmunk voice thing in the Jay-Z one, it kinda drives me ad nauseam.